PAtD - Folkin' Around

"It's about you, Ryan."

"What? No. It isn't."

Spencer pushed the piece of paper back into Ryan's hands. "Yeah, it is."

Ryan glanced down at the lyrics Brendon had just written and handed to them.

"Folkin' Around"... Brendon is more immature than we give him credit for sometimes.

"It's not about me."

"Fuck, Ryan. Read it again."

He did, skimming over the words. "I don't understand."

Spencer snatched the paper from his hands and enthusiastically pointed at each line as he said it. "When nothing really mattered, except for me to be with you, but in time, we all forgot, and we all grew... I've never been more scared to be alone..."

"I still don't see how that makes it about me, Spencer. Why the hell would Brendon write a song about me?"

Spencer blinked. "Dude. Seriously? I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

Spencer opened his mouth to respond, but Brendon came back into the room, interruptingly took the paper right out of Spencer's hands, and grinned at them proudly. "What do you guys think?"

Ryan glanced at Spencer helplessly, wanting him to finish what he was going to say, but gave up and turned to Brendon. "I think it's good, but-"

Spencer stopped him. "I'll leave you two alone."

"What?" Ryan grabbed for Spencer as he stood up and walked away, still confused and wanting him to stay and help him sort this out.

But Spencer, that bitch, he just looked back at him and smiled. And normally, Spencer's smile is full of sunshine and happiness and it makes you feel better about the world. But at that moment, all that Spencer's smile did to Ryan was make him pissed off beyond belief, because he didn't understand what was going on, and he knew Spencer did. And he kind of wanted to get up and walk over there and punch him in the face, but he was walking out of the room and Brendon was sitting down next to him and he figured it was more important to focus on the actual matter at hand.

Which was that he was confused out of his fucking mind and had no clue what was going on, and maybe Brendon would be nice enough to clear everything up.

"Huh, I wonder why Spencer left?" Brendon mused, leaning over and resting his head on Ryan's shoulder.

"I don't know, but he was acting kind of, um, weird," Ryan said, laying his head on Brendon's.

"Like how?" Brendon asked, reaching his hand up and playing idly with one of Ryan's scarves.

"Well, he was. Um, about the song, I don't know, he said he thought it was about me."

Brendon froze.

"But I don't really get it, I mean, why would you write a song about me, and it doesn't make sense, and. Um." He stopped as he noticed Brendon awkwardly detaching from him and sitting up. "Maybe I should shut up?"

Brendon looked down at his lap and twiddled his fingers. "Uh. It's..."

"It's not, right?"

"Yeah, it's. I mean. No, it. It is." He fidgeted.

Ryan's stomach dropped, just a little. He wasn't sure why, but the fact that Brendon wrote a song about him made him a bit nervous.

"Oh. Um... why? I mean, what is it..." He reached a hand up and rubbed at one of his temples. "I don't really understand."

"Do you want a word-for-word explanation, or do you just want me to flat out tell you? I mean, it's. It's not that complicated, read the song again." He held the paper out to Ryan.

Ryan reluctantly took it and focused on it again, this time trying harder to take in the words, now with the knowledge that it actually was about him.

When nothing really mattered, except for me to be with you,
But in time, we all forgot, and we all grew...

Your melody sounds as sweet as the first time it was sung,
With a little bit more character for show...

You've never been so divine in accepting your defeat,
And I've never been more scared to be alone.
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep...

"Brendon, you... you don't mean."

Brendon stood up, too nervous to look directly at Ryan. "I do. But it's up to you, you know, what, um, what you want."

Ryan stood up as well. "Brendon, I think I understand, but I need you to tell me yourself."

Brendon shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground, stiff. "I love you."

Ryan walked to stand in front of him and put a hand under his chin, tilting his head up and forcing Brendon to look him in the eye.

He knew it wasn't much of a response, but he replied, "okay," and kissed him.